ASIA:
The activities that take place during a Malay wedding come from the diverse cultural traditions –indigenous, Hindu and Islamic–that have together served to shape traditional Malay culture. The numerous activities constitute a Malay wedding may be conveniently be divided into three groups representing three stages.
The first group of activities, all of which precede the actual wedding ceremony, consist of the investigation (merisik), the engagement or approach to formalise the arrangement (meminang), and the hantaran or the sending of gifts and part of the amount of money (wang belanja) for expenses (wang belanja) which the boy’s family give to the girl’s side that will be incurred by the girl’s family. The wang belanja is usually an amount of several thousand ringgit. It is different from the dowry (mas kahwin) which is also paid by the man to his future wife. The amount of the mas kahwin is usually fixed by the Islamic Religious Council in each state, but a potential bridegroom may give any amount above the official figure. The second group of activities consists of the actual marriage ceremony (akad nikah) and berinai, while the third group of activities consists of berarak or arriving in procession, sitting on a decorated dias ( bersanding and the welcoming of the married couple to the bride’s house ( sambut menantu). Despite overall similarities in the respective ceremonies as done in various parts of the country, there are certain regional differences. Here only the general characteristics of the ceremonies have been highlighted. |
Merisik:
* When it is time for a young man to get married his family will look around to identify a number of potential candidates.
* Having decided upon one particular young lady, then, the merisik of investigation process takes place.
* For this ceremony one or more representatives (wakil) of the young man’s family will pay a friendly visit to the family of the young woman whom they have in mind as his potential bride. The visit is purely for the purpose of further investigation.
MEMINANG:
Once agreement for the marriage has been reached between the families of the potential bride and the potential bridegroom, preparations for engagement (meminang) take place.
On the side of the potential bride, a consensus is obtained regarding the following:
(a)The date and time for the meminang ceremony.
(b) The amount of money to be paid by the young man for expenses ( wang belanja).
(c) Details regarding the gift (hantaran) items.
(d) The date and time for the actual wedding ceremony and feast.
WELCOMING NEW MARRIED COUPLES (Sambut Menyambut):
The adat of sambut menyambut or ceremony of welcome is usually done at the bridegrooms’s house to welcome the bride. This may take place a day or two following the bersanding. Sometimes a second bersanding ceremony is held in the bridegroom’s house to give the opportunity to the women of that household who did not have the opportunity to be present at the first bersanding ceremony to bless the newly married couple.
* When it is time for a young man to get married his family will look around to identify a number of potential candidates.
* Having decided upon one particular young lady, then, the merisik of investigation process takes place.
* For this ceremony one or more representatives (wakil) of the young man’s family will pay a friendly visit to the family of the young woman whom they have in mind as his potential bride. The visit is purely for the purpose of further investigation.
MEMINANG:
Once agreement for the marriage has been reached between the families of the potential bride and the potential bridegroom, preparations for engagement (meminang) take place.
On the side of the potential bride, a consensus is obtained regarding the following:
(a)The date and time for the meminang ceremony.
(b) The amount of money to be paid by the young man for expenses ( wang belanja).
(c) Details regarding the gift (hantaran) items.
(d) The date and time for the actual wedding ceremony and feast.
WELCOMING NEW MARRIED COUPLES (Sambut Menyambut):
The adat of sambut menyambut or ceremony of welcome is usually done at the bridegrooms’s house to welcome the bride. This may take place a day or two following the bersanding. Sometimes a second bersanding ceremony is held in the bridegroom’s house to give the opportunity to the women of that household who did not have the opportunity to be present at the first bersanding ceremony to bless the newly married couple.
PERSIAN WEDDING:
Iranian (Persian) wedding traditions, despite their local and regional variations, like many other rituals in Iran (Persia) go back to the ancient Zoroastian tradition. Though the concepts and theory of the marriage have been changed drastically by Islamic traditions, the actual ceremonies have remained more or less the same as they were originally in the ancient Zoroastrian culture. The Persian wedding traditions are observed by the majority of ethnic group in Iran.
BEFORE MARRIAGE;
KHASTEGARI
* Khastegari is the first step of the traditional Persian marriage process. When it is time for a young man to get married, his family will look around to identify a number of potential brides.
* Some men ask their parents to suggest potential brides, if they have been unable to find one themselves. However, this has become rarer in recent years, with men and women mixing and meeting freely themselves. Once the man, or his family, have decided on a potential bride, the khastegari process takes place.
* For this ceremony, one or more representatives of the man’s family pay a visit to the woman's family.
* The first visit is purely for the parties to become acquainted with one another. The first visit does not include a formal proposal and there is no commitment - it is perfectly acceptable for the man and his family to go for more than one khastegari in a short period of time.
* Following the first visit, both parties can begin to think more seriously about whether they would like to pursue a relationship. Both the woman and the man have their say in whether or not they would like a follow up to this visit.
Iranian (Persian) wedding traditions, despite their local and regional variations, like many other rituals in Iran (Persia) go back to the ancient Zoroastian tradition. Though the concepts and theory of the marriage have been changed drastically by Islamic traditions, the actual ceremonies have remained more or less the same as they were originally in the ancient Zoroastrian culture. The Persian wedding traditions are observed by the majority of ethnic group in Iran.
BEFORE MARRIAGE;
KHASTEGARI
* Khastegari is the first step of the traditional Persian marriage process. When it is time for a young man to get married, his family will look around to identify a number of potential brides.
* Some men ask their parents to suggest potential brides, if they have been unable to find one themselves. However, this has become rarer in recent years, with men and women mixing and meeting freely themselves. Once the man, or his family, have decided on a potential bride, the khastegari process takes place.
* For this ceremony, one or more representatives of the man’s family pay a visit to the woman's family.
* The first visit is purely for the parties to become acquainted with one another. The first visit does not include a formal proposal and there is no commitment - it is perfectly acceptable for the man and his family to go for more than one khastegari in a short period of time.
* Following the first visit, both parties can begin to think more seriously about whether they would like to pursue a relationship. Both the woman and the man have their say in whether or not they would like a follow up to this visit.
BALE BOROUN CEREMONY
Bale Boroun is the ceremony which takes place a short period of time after the formal proposal, publicly announcing the couple's intention to form a union. At this stage, both the man and woman are happy with each other and, traditionally, both their families have agreed to the union and any conditions surrounding the marriage.
The groom's parents usually give a gift to the bride at this ceremony. According to an ancient Zoroastrian practice, this is done by the groom's family in order to persuade the bride to accept the proposal. The traditional gift is a ring.
Majless e Namzadi (engagement)
The Majless takes place at the woman’s family home. The man and woman, alongside their families, will determine "the gift of love", known as the Mehriye, as well as the date of the wedding. This may be held as early as a year before the wedding itself, in order to allow time for all the wedding arrangements to be made.
The Persian engagement ceremony, known as the namzadi, involves the bride and groom exchanging rings, followed by a reception and/or party.
Shirt Khor
It is tradition to eat Bamieh sweet in the Shirini-Khoran
The sharing of refreshments that follows the namzadi ceremony is called shirin khordan (eating sweets) including tea and shirini (desserts) such as bamiye (light doughnut balls), nun-e berenji (rice flour cookies), chocolates, ajil (nuts and dried fruit), are served as part of the festivities. Eating sweet food stuffs at celebratory events such as an engagement ceremony carry symbolism such as wishing for sweetness in the couple's life in general.
Plate Baran
A few days before the wedding, presents from the groom's family are taken over to the bride’s house. Men from the groom's family dressed up in festive costumes carry the presents on elaborately decorated large flat containers carried on their heads. The containers are called tabag. This ceremony is also called tabag-baran. Although this tradition might be practice in small towns, however, Tabag Baran is not a common practice. More modern means of transportation is used deliver the gifts to the bride.
The wedding ceremony
Sofreye Aghd (Wedding Spread) * There is a very elaborate floor spread set up for Aghd, including several kinds of food and decorations, this is called Sofre-ye-Aghd. * A scarf or shawl made out of silk or any other fine fabric is held over the bride and bridegroom's head (who are sitting by the Sofreh) by a few unmarried female relatives (bridesmaids).
* Two sugar cones made out of hardened sugar are used during the ceremony. These sugar cones are softly ground together above the bride and bridegroom's head by a happily married female relative (and/or maid of honor) throughout the ceremony to shower them in sweetness. The sugar drops in the held fabric, not on their heads.
* In spirit of humor, sometimes a few stitches are sewn on the cloth which is held over the bride and the groom's head. The needle will have seven threads of seven colors and will symbolize sewing the mother-in-law's tongue against saying anything rude or unholy to the bride in her future life.
Aghd The contract signing for the wedding is usually done before the ceremony of Aghd so that the ceremony can flow naturally. When the groom signs the marriage contract, he legally agrees to provide the bride with a mehriye (Dowry). The amount of mehriye is restated during the wedding ceremony. In religious circles the Aghd usually includes some verses of the Quran (followed by reciting a Hadith of Prophet Muhammad about the importance of marriage (only if one or both of the couple are Muslims). In the more modern ceremonies, the officiant is not of religious background and would recite romantic poems from Saadi, Hafez or Rumi.
Then the ceremony administer (or marriage officiant) asks the mutual consent of the couple. First the groom is asked if he wishes to enter into the marriage. Then the bride is asked the same question. Here the bride makes the groom wait for her hand in marriage by not answering the question right away. This is usually accompanied by a relative yelling out something (funny) that the bride could have gone to do. The scenario will often be as follows:
The officiant: Do you wish to acceptxas your husband?
The bride remains silent, while one of the guests/bridesmaids says "the bride has gone to pick flowers."
The officiant: For the second time I ask, do you acceptxto be your husband?
Again the bride remains silent and a female relative/bridesmaid may say "the bride has gone to bring rose-water."
The officiant: For the third time I ask, will you acceptxas your husband?
This time the bride says "with the permission of my parents and elders, yes" and they are declared man and wife. From that moment, the man and the woman will be considered married (or mahram in religious families).
Once the couple is pronounced husband and wife, the officiant will ask for God to bless the union. The bride and groom exchange wedding rings, where they put the rings on each other's left ring finger. In religious families the kiss exchange is not done publicly. Finally, the bride and groom dip their little finger in honey and put it in each other's mouths, to symbolize starting the marriage with sweetness and love. At this point, the families start clapping and singing, and the closer members of the family, mostly immediate, extended family members and close friends, will present their gifts to the bride and the groom, mostly gold coins, jewelry and cash.
Traditionally, the cost of the wedding ceremony is paid by the groom's family, and in return the bride's family provide the 'jahaz' (the furniture and household appliances for the couple's new life together). However, most modern families share the responsibilities and the costs associated with the wedding ceremonies.
It is tradition to eat Bamieh sweet in the Shirini-Khoran
The sharing of refreshments that follows the namzadi ceremony is called shirin khordan (eating sweets) including tea and shirini (desserts) such as bamiye (light doughnut balls), nun-e berenji (rice flour cookies), chocolates, ajil (nuts and dried fruit), are served as part of the festivities. Eating sweet food stuffs at celebratory events such as an engagement ceremony carry symbolism such as wishing for sweetness in the couple's life in general.
Plate Baran
A few days before the wedding, presents from the groom's family are taken over to the bride’s house. Men from the groom's family dressed up in festive costumes carry the presents on elaborately decorated large flat containers carried on their heads. The containers are called tabag. This ceremony is also called tabag-baran. Although this tradition might be practice in small towns, however, Tabag Baran is not a common practice. More modern means of transportation is used deliver the gifts to the bride.
The wedding ceremony
Sofreye Aghd (Wedding Spread) * There is a very elaborate floor spread set up for Aghd, including several kinds of food and decorations, this is called Sofre-ye-Aghd. * A scarf or shawl made out of silk or any other fine fabric is held over the bride and bridegroom's head (who are sitting by the Sofreh) by a few unmarried female relatives (bridesmaids).
* Two sugar cones made out of hardened sugar are used during the ceremony. These sugar cones are softly ground together above the bride and bridegroom's head by a happily married female relative (and/or maid of honor) throughout the ceremony to shower them in sweetness. The sugar drops in the held fabric, not on their heads.
* In spirit of humor, sometimes a few stitches are sewn on the cloth which is held over the bride and the groom's head. The needle will have seven threads of seven colors and will symbolize sewing the mother-in-law's tongue against saying anything rude or unholy to the bride in her future life.
Aghd The contract signing for the wedding is usually done before the ceremony of Aghd so that the ceremony can flow naturally. When the groom signs the marriage contract, he legally agrees to provide the bride with a mehriye (Dowry). The amount of mehriye is restated during the wedding ceremony. In religious circles the Aghd usually includes some verses of the Quran (followed by reciting a Hadith of Prophet Muhammad about the importance of marriage (only if one or both of the couple are Muslims). In the more modern ceremonies, the officiant is not of religious background and would recite romantic poems from Saadi, Hafez or Rumi.
Then the ceremony administer (or marriage officiant) asks the mutual consent of the couple. First the groom is asked if he wishes to enter into the marriage. Then the bride is asked the same question. Here the bride makes the groom wait for her hand in marriage by not answering the question right away. This is usually accompanied by a relative yelling out something (funny) that the bride could have gone to do. The scenario will often be as follows:
The officiant: Do you wish to acceptxas your husband?
The bride remains silent, while one of the guests/bridesmaids says "the bride has gone to pick flowers."
The officiant: For the second time I ask, do you acceptxto be your husband?
Again the bride remains silent and a female relative/bridesmaid may say "the bride has gone to bring rose-water."
The officiant: For the third time I ask, will you acceptxas your husband?
This time the bride says "with the permission of my parents and elders, yes" and they are declared man and wife. From that moment, the man and the woman will be considered married (or mahram in religious families).
Once the couple is pronounced husband and wife, the officiant will ask for God to bless the union. The bride and groom exchange wedding rings, where they put the rings on each other's left ring finger. In religious families the kiss exchange is not done publicly. Finally, the bride and groom dip their little finger in honey and put it in each other's mouths, to symbolize starting the marriage with sweetness and love. At this point, the families start clapping and singing, and the closer members of the family, mostly immediate, extended family members and close friends, will present their gifts to the bride and the groom, mostly gold coins, jewelry and cash.
Traditionally, the cost of the wedding ceremony is paid by the groom's family, and in return the bride's family provide the 'jahaz' (the furniture and household appliances for the couple's new life together). However, most modern families share the responsibilities and the costs associated with the wedding ceremonies.